took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
