Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wish i was in the wii world.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
