i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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