You smell like a Billy Joel song
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
