After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
