i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
