:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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