You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Sacagawea was the original milf.
bring money and cleavage
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize