this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
