he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
