i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
