he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
