there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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