Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
