i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
