I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
