Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
