where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I think im going to throw up on grandma
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
