no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
