She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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