Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
