My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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