O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
