I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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