In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
