All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
