Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize