So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
