So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
