my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
