You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
