There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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