I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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