hell yes lets make some ravioli
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
