So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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