he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
