Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize