He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
