I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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