I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
