do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
