school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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