I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
