Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize