She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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