I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
