First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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