My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
