How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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