btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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