i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
