So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
