Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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