I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
