so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
