3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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