just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
