..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So much rum. So many feels.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
