I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
